Week Nine Picks

Last week hurt. We don't need to get into details, but let's just say that I had to get a diaper change. In other news, Cleveland is a shit hole. Let's pick some games:

Atlanta v Carolina
The Falcons are playing well...and Michael Turner seems to have found some running room again. I expect that to continue against a poor Panther run defense.

Tampa Bay v Miami
Tampa Bay burned my ass last week. ARE YOU KIDDING? What a perfect time to realize that you are not a bunch of doorknob fucking inbreds (See entire state of West Virginia). Regardless, I'm taking the Dolphins.

Detroit v Minnesota
Sweet sassy molassey I hope Brett Favre is hurt. Maybe then people will shut the hell up about him. But for now, I'll take Minnesota to win.

Jacksonville v New York Jets
Not sure where to go with this one...not sure it's going to matter. I'll take the Jets? (Dammit, who put a question mark on the teleprompter?)

New Orleans v St. Louis
NON-COMPETITIVE. If the NFL had a mercy rule, I'm sure it would come into play for this game. Saints to win.

Buffalo v Tennessee
The Bills lost to the Browns. Does it get any lower than that? Titans.

Denver v Washington
A Redskins team without Clinton Portis is actually just as bad as it was with him. Denver.

Kansas City v Oakland
With these two both in the AFC West, I can understand why Denver is 6-1. I'll take the Chiefs for no specific reason.

Seattle v Arizona
Kurt Warner threw for five touchdowns last week. Seattle blew a busload of shims last week. I'll take the Cardinals.

Dallas v Green Bay
The Packers lost to Tampa Bay last week. That's poor. Although, Jerry Jones is an assclown. Which way to go? Dallas because Aaron Rodgers will be sacked seven hundred times in the first ten seconds.

Philadelphia v San Diego
The Super Chargers to win. Philadelphia New Jersey can rot in hell.

New England v Indianapolis
Belichick can eat shit. Let's go Peyton.

Baltimore v Cleveland
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Baltimore wins in an empty stadium.

Pittsburgh v Cincinnati
Can't wait to give Ocho Cinco the Gaper next week.