Quadzilla a kop killa!

Jeff "Quadzilla" Reed is back in the papers for being a complete badass. The biggest party sensation to ever have hit the North Shore, is rocking Cleveland as if it weren't a cesspool. Actually, Zilla was just watching out for Spaeth's back! Read the police report below:

Police responded to an unrelated incident at McFadden's, a North Shore bar and restaurant across a parking lot from Heinz Field, around 9 p.m., [police Sargent Tina] Davidson said. While there, officers spotted a man urinating outside a white sport utility vehicle and began to give the man — identified as Steelers tight end Matt Spaeth — a ticket when Reed exited the vehicle, Davidson said.

"The officers told him several times to get back in the vehicle, but he did not listen," Davidson said. "Mr. Reed then squared up with an officer by bringing his fists up."

Officers tackled Reed and cuffed him at the scene, Davidson said.

"He smelled of a strong odor of alcohol and appeared to be intoxicated," Davidson said.

The fault here belongs to Spaeth for three reasons:

1. Everyone knows that you take a piss in the back alley. Are you kidding Matt? Was that your first time peeing in public? You can even go straight Dumb and Dumber style and piss into a bottle in your white SUV.

2. You took the last person on the Steelers roster that I would want to back me up at a bar or intimidate some cops. Good lord, from all the intimidating sons-of-bitches on that team, your back up is Quadzilla? Take Sepulveda, that guy is freaking built. He also does this:



(He's the punter people.)

3. You were parting with Jeff Reed. Let's just take a look at a collection of photos relating to the parting habits of Jeff Reed:

Alright, here's Zilla at the bar, no big deal. It's probably just really hot in there...you can probably tell by the profuse amount of sweat rolling off that bitches face.













Okay, wearing a shirt. Good start. Hanging out with more skanky blondes, understandable. These girls look smart though, like strippers who only turn tricks until they get into law school smart.



Well, I see nothing as changed in regards to whom you hang out with. Oh look, disgustingly sweaty bitch has brought over her "we're not just doing this to get our pictures in the paper" friends. Again, a mentally sharp looking crew. I also think you being on DrunkAthlete.com is a bit of a stretch. Maybe DrunkKicker.com, but definitely not DrunkAthlete.com.








That is a pretty freaking sweet Pauley Shore impression though...I'll give you that.



No, seriously Pauley, someone is trying to impersonate you. Congratulations, you've made it as a star.








Here he is apparently rocking out a barn. Check the wall behind him, that's definitely plywood. At least he's making up with the poor choice in venue with an excellent choice in pose...showing the number of fieldgoals he's gonna miss in two games...classic. Luckily he was off by one.















Now the bastard's just cock-blocking.
















Seriously Spaeth, this guy was your choice? Dumbass. I bet that nobody knows that Zilla was originally a muppet.

Who parties in Cleveland anyway?