2010...The Reunion Tour

Tomlin gets a three year contract extension...I can't argue with that. Some people are hating the move but those are also probably the same people who think Rick Astley is the greatest gift to music (clearly it's Prince...dumbasses). Tomlin has won a Superbowl, never had a losing season, his wife is a model, and most importantly I don't think anyone can throw crazy eyes during press conferences like he can.

I trust the Rooney family here. I think all you need to do is point to their track record for never firing anybody and you could consider the head coaching position for the Steelers the NFL equivalent of a government job...good for life. But seriously, since the Steelers hired Tomlin, only three coaches have more wins, and only one has more wins and more playoff appearances.

Bill Bellichick : 37-11 : CHEATER

Wade Phillips : 33-15 : CHOKE ARTIST

Norv Turner : 32-16 : SEE DIRECTLY ABOVE

Mike Tomlin : 31-17 : ONLY DECENT COACH ON THIS LIST

(However, if you want Norv Turner leading your team in the playoffs you must hate the Superbowl.) Tomlin is an elite coach, no doubt about it.

I am getting pretty excited for the upcoming season which I have completely originally dubbed "The Reunion Tour". I know all of my Asian friends are excited as well. What I'm really happy about is that now my Foot, Randle-El, and McFadden jerseys are worth something again, and I know I'm not the only one. Let's just hope the addition of these returning rockstars shores up a special teams unit that sucked more dick than Tom Brady last season. (The over/under stands at 232 chodes, by the way.)

What else? Oh yeah, there was a draft...AND THE STEELERS FINALLY DRAFTED A LINEMAN WORTH A DAMN!!!! Over the next couple of days I'll do a small piece on each draft pick and tell you exactly how they will fare this season since I know everything about football. I'm just really excited to see Pouncey in there...nothing tastes worse in my mouth than a safety commited by some douchebag who's holding in the endzone. I won't say any names, but he looks a lot like this:

That's all for now. I'll delve into football greatness at a later time.

Cleveland Sucks...and thanks LeBron.