Superbowl Coming to Pittsburgh?

This is not a post discussing the possibilities of the Steelers making it to the Superbowl. That goes without question. No, this is going to be about the city of Pittsburgh landing a cold-weather Superbowl much like those Jersey teams did this year.

According to the Trib, Joe McGrath, president of Visit Pittsburgh, thinks he can pull it off. I'd have to agree, he's the same guy who helped Pittsburgh nail the 2006 All-Star Game, the 2011 NHL Winter Classic (which I desperately want tickets for), the 2012 NCAA men's basketball tournament opening rounds, and the 2013 Frozen Four. Yeah, he has the credentials. Seems like he can nail anything. I know someone in Pittsburgh that could benefit from this wisdom. No need to call anyone out here.

So what are the roadblocks?

First, apparently the fans are not important anymore, and corporate entertainment is a BIG deal. Well, people think that you can only entertain these big cats when its warm outside. However, every strip club I've ever been to has been heated (with the exception of one outside of DuBois, Pa.). There. Problem solved. PLUS, there's a casino right across the freakin street. Someone might as well go there but the strip club seems like a more professional venue.

I've heard that transportation infrastructure, i.e. airports that can handle the traffic, adequate transportation to and from the stadium, hotels and other hospitality structures in the vicinity of the stadium, are a must. WELL, the airport's fine. It's an airport with an amazing statue:

Transportation? HA! Is there an easier city to navigate in the winter, as a visitor, and probably a drunk visitor than Pittsburgh? I certainly doubt it. Maybe Cleveland, but only because nobody can afford a car there.

As for hospitality, all I need to say is the Jerome Bettis Grille 36. End of story. Does it get more hospitable than this staff of waiters?

Well, Eddie George is not really a waiter. He gives out hand jobs in the back parking lot just to get a glimpse at a Superbowl ring.

I say bring on the Superbowl. It's about time Pittsburgh got a chance to class it up. As a summation here is a list of things that you would most definitely see at a Pittsburgh Superbowl:

1. Kitchen chairs in every parking space outside of Heinz Field.

2. More mullets than an ACDC concert.

3. More ACDC shirts than an ACDC concert.

4. All bathrooms are now moved into the basement of the stadium.

5. Official beer sponsor somehow becomes I.C. Light.

6. Roethlisberger giving tours of the inside of his van to any lucky (completely inebriated) teenage girl.

7. Blaze orange camouflage.