Friday, July 31, 2009

Miller Signs 6-Year Extension

Heath Miller as he owns Sean Jones

Heath Miller has recently signed a six year extension with the Steelers. In signing the contract, the Steelers have made Miller the third highest paid tight end in the league. Miller signed for 6 years and $35.3 million dollars. He receives a signing bonus of $12 million, and is set to make $900,000 in base salary this year with an additional roster bonus of $750,000.

Miller will never have the flashy numbers of an Antonio Gate, or a Kellen Winslow Jr., but he is considered to be the best two way tight end in the league (catching and blocking). The six year deal keeps Miller, who is 26, in town during the prime of his career.

This signing will probably end the offseason roster activities for the Steelers. There are five players left that will be heading for unrestricted free-agency after the conclusion of the 2009-2010 season: Casey Hampton, Brett Keisel, Ryan Clark, Deshea Townsend, Tryone Carter, and Jeff Reed. After seeing this group, I don't think the Steelers can afford to let Hampton sign with another team. The key to the 3-4 defense is having a nose tackle who can take on blocks and open up the middle for the linebackers, and nobody in the league is better at that than "Big Snack". Also, the Steelers do not have anyone in their system who can do the job that Hampton does. Sorry Chris Hoke, but you are no Big Snack.

Casey "Big Snack" Hampton

Keisel would be nice, but he would have to take a hometown discount. The same goes for Townsend and Carter. Reed can easily be franchised tagged next year and still make close to what he is making now. Ryan Clark should also be a priority. He is a perfect compliment to Polamalu, and literally destroys people on the field. Just ask Willis McGahee during the AFC Championship game.
Ouch. Ravens Suck.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Thoughts on Ziggy Hood

Personally, I was very happy with the Steelers spending their first round pick on Evander "Ziggy" Hood, DT from Missouri. I can't say I agree with his Madden rankings, as all the Steelers on my game are maxed out at 99, naturally.

The situation the Steelers found themselves on draft day was that there were not any immediate needs that they had to draft for. That put them in the position to draft the best available player to add some young depth to their roster, which was badly needed along the defensive line. Watch the following video of some extremely uncomfortable looking white guy as he briefly discusses Hood.

Some thoughts on the video:

1. Did you notice Kraig Urbik from Wisconsin? He was the Steelers third round draft pick. Looked pretty good matching up with Hood, a match up that's bound to repeat itself.

2. I love how they showed Hood owning Alex Mack who is the Browns first round draft pick. Sucks to be him. I would rather go undrafted and play in the WNBA than be the Browns any-round pick.
Click on image to view Mack's projected Madden Stats

3. Hood's accent is perfect. It reminds me of the southern lisp Adam Sandler used when filming "The Waterboy". How perfect would it have been if instead of saying, " have to release all fury." he said " have to open a can of Captain Insano Whoop Ass."!

Seriously though, I was very happy with the drafting of Hood. He will be an outstanding DE after spending a year or two learning from Keisel, Smith, and LeBeau. He seems to have Aaron Smith size, but with a faster jump at the snap of the ball. Zig looks to be an excellent addition to a veteran defense.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Steelers sign Evander "Ziggy" Hood

The Pittsburgh Steelers reached an agreement in principle Saturday on a five-year deal with first-round choice Evander "Ziggy" Hood, the 32nd pick in the NFL draft. Financial terms of the deal may not become available until they actually sign the contract on Wednesday.

Thoughts on Ziggy Hood to follow.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Roethlisberger Vehemently Denies McNulty Claims

The above total denial by Ben Roethlisberger of Andrea McNulty's claims that he sexually assaulted her at a charity golf event at the Harrah resort in Lake Tahoe, NV, seem to be the only genuine statement to be made so far from either party.

Let's take a closer look at this moronic McNulty woman. My first question is, "After an entire year, you couldn't come up with a better freaking story than this?" She claims he grabbed, fondled and kissed her in his 17th-floor room after asking her to fix a broken sound system on his television. Does this look like the face of a competent, certified electrician?Looks more like an unbalanced, money grubbing moron to me. She also claimed that after Ben was done sexually assaulting her she ran into the bathroom to "collect herself". Is that what a rape victim does? Stay at the scene of the crime? Does she then wait a full year to say anything at all to the public, and when she does she files a civil case and not a criminal case? In her suit, she said she did not go to the police because she "was afraid of the consequences of reporting it." Yeah...I'm afraid of justice too. The consequences she was referring to was losing her job. Hey McNulty, if you are suing multiple people for more than $390,000, you can probably afford to job hunt for a little while.

So, instead of reporting the crime to the authorities, she tells her bosses at the casino and demands that they take action. Apparently one says to her, " should be thankful. There are plenty of girls who would love to be in your shoes...". Are you kidding McNulty? Is the Harrah like a 1960's CBS all boys club? Is going to work exactly like watching the A&E hit show Mad Men? You've gotta be the dumbest. However, I suppose that if you don't implicate them in any fashion you can, then you can't sue them for money too. (Again, not for criminal conspiracy to cover up a crime, but for money.)

Basically, if the bullshit flying from her whore hole is true, and I am obviously of the mind that it is not, then McNulty is saying to the whole world, "Yeah he raped me, but I don't want justice, just money." Wait a tick. Isn't there some profession in Nevada where the person trades sexual acts for a monetary compensation? What is that called? Maybe I'm just crazy, but obviously not the MOST crazy person around.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Roethlisberger Named in Civil Suit

I'm not going to get into this until more details are known. Basically Ben is being accused of sexually assaulting a hotel employee at a celebrity golfing tournament last year. While no criminal charges have been filed yet, a civil suit has been brought against Roethlisberger and others. The woman is seeking $390,000 in restitution.

Here is the link to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Roethlisberger-Harrison voted "Best in the AFC North"

I would like to file this post under the heading, "Obvious Bullshit that doesn't need to be said". However, I'll report it anyway. James Walker, ESPN's AFC North blogger, who I have to say really knows his shit, has recently reported on a survey he conducted among players in the AFC North, or as everyone else in the NFL refers to it, "Ouch".
30 AFC North players were surveyed, and they were asked to nominate not only the best quarterback in the conference, but also the toughest overall player. Also filed under the "Obvious" column, Roethlisberger won the Best Quarterback moniker with a staggering 18 out of 30 votes. Go figure, you win 2 Superbowls in your first 5 seasons, and people think you can play football. Curiously Baltimore's Joe Flacco, last years rookie sensation (sans vs. the Steelers...all three times) netted 5 votes putting him in third place behind Carson Palmer who received 7. Two retards voted for the craptastic Cleveland duo of Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson, who tied for last place receiving a vote each. I'm surprised the Not-So-Ambiguously Gay duo received any votes at all considering they play a style of football more akin to the Special Olympics, but I bet they covet their fourth place ribbons.

Now, on to the main event. James "Deebo" Harrison, seen above as he busts up a Browns fan for being a cocksucker, was voted the conferences toughest player netting a total of 10 out of 30 votes. Deebo narrowly edged Ray Ray Lewis who took a "killer" second place with 8 votes. Tied for third place with three votes each was Baltimore's Terrell Suggs, and the invincible Hines Ward. All in all, Pittsburgh placed five players on this list: Harrison, Ward, Aaron Smith, Roethlisberger, and LaMarr Woodley. The notable absence of any player from the Cincinnati Bengals on the "Toughest Player" list is questionable, considering they would probably just shoot you if they knew you didn't vote for them.

Seriously, what a waste of time these two polls were. The answers were so apparently obvious that there was no need to waste time asking the questions. Some polls I would like to see Walker conduct: Player most likely to have Rupaul on their IPod, Cleveland Brown who hasn't peeked in the shower (or received a staph infection), or Bengal most likely to realize their team blows horse nuts. There are some polls worth conducting.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Hartwig no Ballerina Despite Previous Suspicions

Recent Steelers news finds Justin Hartwig, last years starting center, with a broken toe today. Details were sketchy as to the incidents that led to the broken toe. It was said that he, "...dropped an object on it..." My only hope was that it was at least a super-human sized object that would turn a regular guy into jelly.

One thing has struck me as odd though. I saw Hartwig play last year, and noticed just how light on his toes he was when he was constantly beat out of position. My suspicion was that Hartwig was a world class ballerina who just became confused as to his actual profession while on the field. These recent events leads me to believe that Hartwig is giving up his lucrative dancing career and becoming a full time NFL center. That's great news for the Steelers.

Another positive that comes from this story will be watching the battle between Darnell Stapleton and AQ Shipley during training camp. Hopefully the Stillers will take advantage and invest more effort into developing the younger talent.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Donte Stallworth can apparently pass Go, AND collect $200.

Good news for Donte Stallworth fans, assuming there are some. Apparently Donte, after only being sentenced to THIRTY DAYS in jail after pleading guilty to DUI MANSLAUGHTER, is out of jail after only 24 days. By the way, the state of Florida sees DUI Manslaughter as either a first or second degree felony, and somehow Stallworth gets 24 days? I would say that the judge must have been a Browns fan, but I wouldn't be able to with a straight face.

All in all it is a load off of my mind. I was genuinely worried about the state of Donte's morals and self-esteem in jail. Luckily he didn't even spend enough time in prison to reflect on what the hell he did! I guess it pays to have money in America. Go figure. At least Goodell had the nuts to do the right thing. Currently Stallworth is serving an indefinate suspension from the NFL. Personally, I hope he never plays again. Vick went to jail for a year for dog fighting, and this guy spends 23 days for KILLING SOMEONE.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Rename Steelers America's Team? Ask ESPN.

ESPN realizes that NFL news is slow right now, but because they have to keep ad revenues up, they have decided to just go ahead and make some. So, they are trying to determine which NFL team truly deserves the moniker "America's Team". Not all teams are eligible, just those with fan bases that give a shit right now. Sorry Browns, you're not even in the running for "Cleveland's Football Team", but you are up for the ESPY "Team uniform that most resembles shit and vomit rolled together".

ESPN is giving you the choice between the Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, and Patriots. Here are some thoughts on the subject:

  • The Packers have won 11 NFL championships, but only one "Modern" Superbowl. There is nothing wrong with that. Pack fans, hang your hat on having more respectable team references ala the Lombardi Trophy.
  • Patriots suck.
  • Former Steelers owner Art Rooney was offered the term America's Team in the 70's. (Go figure, they win four Superbowls.) He turned it down and said he would rather be known as Pittsburgh's team. Art Rooney = Class
  • Jerry Jones is a spotlight loving douche bag. Even though he only began ownership in 1989, Jones has done everything possible to bring the NFL spotlight on his extremely underachieving pro football team. If any single person deserves the title, it's him.
  • In my opinion, the Detroit Lions should have been considered in this discussion. They could seriously contend for the title.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Willie Parker is running out of time, "fast".

Slow time for NFL news. Training camp starts soon so grab your kids, and some sunblock, and head out to Latrobe to fight about a billion other people who will punch you in the face to get an autograph from Ben. Let's talk "Fast" Willie Parker with the first post.

Parker will soon learn what the term "Contract Year" really means. Parker's stats for 2008: 791 yards on 210 carries, for a 3.8 average, worst of his career, 5 TDs. He also missed 5 games during the regular season. "Fast" Willie definately needs to pick up those numbers in 2009 to be assured a roster spot in '10. With a healthy Rashard Mendenhall back and ready for a true freshman season, along with rookie running back Frank "The Tank" Summers who some see as the second coming of Jerome Bettis, Parker has some competition to contend with coming into training camp.

The Steelers' salary cap situation also plays against Parker's return. Other players in contract years are Charlie Batch, Heath Miller, Matt Spaeth, Darnell Stapleton, Justin Hartwig, Travis Kirschke, William Gay, Deshea Townsend, Ryan Clark, Tyrone Carter, Jeff Reed, and Daniel Sepulveda. That's a hell of a list of starters there. Consider that Miller, Clark, Reed, and Sepulveda are probably locks to be resigned, there leaves a lot of unhappy former Steelers leaving the ranks. If Parker can't produce this season, he very well may find himself a member of the latter and not the former.