Burress in Giant Mess

911: "This is 911, what's your emergency?"
PB: "Does being a moron count as an emergency?"
911: "Not exactly sir."
PB: "Well then...uh...I've been shot."
911: "Did you get a good look at the assailant sir? Do you know who it was?"
PB: "Yeah, I've got a pretty good idea. Do you really need to know who it was?"



This offseason has seen plenty of off field issues being debated and resolved, and here is another one. Plaxico Burress needs no introduction to Steelers fans, but here is a little background anyway. Burress was the Steelers #1 draft pick in 2000, the eighth overall, from Michigan State. Burress went on to play five years with the Steelers, amassing 261 receptions for 4,164 yards, 22 touchdowns, and only six fumbles over the span of 71 games.

In 2005 Burress decided to sellout, and signed a six year, 25 million dollar contract with the New York Giants. Plaxico has experienced much success since signing with the Giants. He quickly became Eli Manning's number one receiver, and has since won a Superbowl. (Steelers have since won two, but who's counting?)

Now to the controversy. Burress accidentally shot himself in the right thigh while at a Manhattan nightclub in late November 2008. He was carrying a gun in the waistband of his sweatpants, and believe it or not, the gun began to slide down his leg. When he went to grab it, he accidentally shot himself in the thigh. To add to the idiocy of the whole situation, Burress never bothered to register his firearm, nor obtain the necessary permits to carry a concealed weapon in the state of New York. A New York grand jury has now indicted him on weapons charges which carries a minimum sentence of 3 1/2 years if found guilty.

I have some suggestions for things that Plaxico can try to lighten the jail time he surely will be facing soon. He can call up his buddy Donte Stallworth and ask him exactly how he circumnavigated the law. After all, Donte only spent 20 some days in jail for vehicular manslaughter. Maybe he can try to market his public service announcement to dissuade youngsters from carrying firearms.



Or maybe Plaxico can plea for temporary insanity, because you would have to be insane to think that carrying a firearm in the waistband of your sweatpants into a place where people are dancing around and alcohol is flowing freely is a good idea. Seriously, how about at least tightening up the drawstring Plaxico? I would say to put the gun in your pocket, but that's just a damned stupid idea.

At any rate, I don't believe Burress will be seeing the football for a long time to come. More details on the case as they develop.