Tuesday, July 27, 2010

StillersBlog has the Solution to the Steelers' QB Woes

I'm getting tired of reading everyone and their sister's comments on what the Steelers should do at quarterback next season.  It's gotten to the point where I think I need to put in my two cents and end the argument once and for all.


The Steelers have reportedly two options for the first 4-6 games, sorry Charlie, in either Leftwich or Dixon.  Now, everyone say what Dixon did against the Ravens defense last year, and if it wasn't for a shitty break he would have won that game.  We all know what Byron is bringing to the table when he stepped in during their '08 Super Bowl run.  HOWEVER, there is a third option that no one is considering and I have no idea why.


Bring back Bubby Brister. Come on Pittsburgh.  Let's get a campaign started to "Bring Back the Bub!!"  This is what his Wikipedia page has to say about his career in Pittsburgh:



Pittsburgh sports writers and Steelers fans often made jokes about Brister's southern accent and perceived lack of sophistication, traits that were similarly mocked in Brister's predecessor, Terry Bradshaw. In a similar vein, his name was often misspoken. In a 1999 Sports Illustrated article, Brister cited "Bubba Brewster" and "Bobby Blister" as common manglings, and online his name often appears as "Bubba Brister".
One of Brister's famous quotes came after a 1991 game between the Houston Oilers and Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh was getting blown out, and coach Chuck Noll wanted to pull starter Neil O'Donnell and replace him with Brister to finish the hopeless game. Brister replied "I don't mop up for anybody."
Brister played for the Steelers for seven years, several of them as the regular starter at quarterback. In 1992, new Steelers head coach Bill Cowher chose backup quarterback Neil O'Donnell over Brister, essentially ending his career as a starting player for the Steelers.

This is just what Pittsburgh needs right now, a quarterback with moxie.  Yeah, he doesn't mop up for anybody GOD-DAMMIT!  (Except right now because he probably works as a janitor.)  Can he not monitor his own Wikipedia page?  I've never seen a "dictionary" shit on someone so badly. 

Anyway, what Brister does come without is controversy.  In fact, for some reason SCORE, the company that produced his football card, saw fit way back in 1989 to add in a section to attest to the Bub's character.  Take a look:

To date Bubby Brister has zero, repeat, ZERO career rapes.  I'm not sure why SCORE put it on there, but they have tremendous foresight.  I'm so convinced that this is the Year of the Bub, I'm buying his card.  I mean, it's got to be the ultimate in investments.  When the Bub comes from the unknown (or a gas station on I-80) to lead the Steelers to their seventh Super Bowl this card is going to be worth thousands.  By the way, here is the invoice of my purchase to prove to you doubters what a true fan does:

This is my plan to get Bubby back.  I'm going to an 18 year old high school quarterback and hire him to coach me as is advertised on his website.  Now, unfortunately I just spent all of my spare funds on acquiring his rookie card...so I need someone to give me $200.  All I need is an hour to prove to him that he's the answer to all of our woes.  

Holy shit, I just saw, again on his website, that I can send him my card and he'll autograph it for FREE!!  Just think what that will do to the resale value after he breaks every single season passing record.

More pictures to come when my investment actually gets here.  Also, I'll keep everyone informed on the status of the signing process.  If I don't make 100,000% profit on reselling this I'll be sorely disappointed.


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