Oh how I hate Brett Favre

What a treat...a double dose of poor literary skills and sub-par analysis today!  I forgot to add this into my initial post regarding quarterback situations I'm tired of hearing of.  I'm not quite sure of how I could POSSIBLY forget, because if there is one quarterback in the NFL that I never want to hear anything about again it's Brett Favre.

I'm sure everyone has heard by now, but again, Brett Favre has unretired.  If this situation had a Vegas line attached to it the odds would have been 3:2 in favor of unretiring.  All in all I believe this is the 1,000th time the guy has come back after saying he was done.  However, this was the first time that he framed it the way he did (which I love, by the way).  Three years ago he retired and came back to the Packers because he wasn't done playing yet.  Two years ago he retired and came back because he wanted to move to a team which could contend for a championship.  (His ideal choice was Minnesota, but the Packers were not going to have that.  They traded his flippant ass to the Jets.)  Ironic, a sans-Favre Packers are now a championship contending team.  Last year Methuselah retired and came back in order to get traded to the Vikings.  Again, ironic a sans-Favre Jets are now a championship contender.  Now what?  He's already where he wanted to go three years ago...still cannot make it to the super bowl...and at 41 million years old he's not getting any younger.

There's really only one way to feign retirement and not look like an asshole for four years in a row.  Wow.  Brett, you are such a great guy and not a prima donna piece of shit.  This wasn't a selfish move at all, but a favor to a couple of buddies...and their million fans.  Apparently a group of Vikings went down to Mississippi and asked him to come back as a favor to the locker room.  They probably went down to his home/children's cancer center in Mississippi/Heaven and begged Brett to play one more year.  I imagine it would go something like this:

Dumbass team members:  "Please, please pretty please Brett?  Can you possibly find time in between all of the puppy petting and baby kissing and dream saving to do us this tiny little favor?"
Brett Master Flex:  "Even though I'm older than most rock formations, and have been beaten to the point where I'm now punchy, I will do you guys this favor.  I love my teammates.  I love you.  Look, I just turned your water into wine."
DTM:  "Oh shit!  You did just turn our water into wine.  Jesus?"
BMF:  "Come on guys, don't insult me like that.  I'm Brett Favre."  

BMF:  "Consider this though boys...Jesus was a carpenter.  I'm the spokesman for a brand of jeans.  Carpenters wear jeans."
DTM:  "We want to blow you."

Fuck Brett Favre.