Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Who Hired Bruce Arians?

Now on to the latest debacle.  I thought the Steelers looked really good last week.  I mean, their uniforms were spectacular and Polamalu's hair had it's glorious, million dollar sheen.  Aside from that, what the Hell?  I suppose I can't lay the loss on the defense too much.  After all, they combined for 63 tackles, 2 sacks, 6 tackles for a loss, 4 passes defended, and 7 quarterback hits.  That's not bad considering the amount of time they were on the field.  "Why were they on the field so long?" you may ask.  Why, that's an easy one.

Ass.

Bruce Arians is the "Offensive" coordinator for the Pittsburgh Steelers, or as I sometimes refer to him, a football fritata.  (I promised people I'd stop using the word retarded.  Enter fritata.)  You have to be kidding me Bruce.  Here are the numbers for the Saints' defense; 58 tackles, 3 sacks, 4 tackles for a loss, 6 passes defended, and 7 quarterback hits.  The not so "offensive" line has only allowed Ben to be sacked three times in three games, until last Sunday.  "Why were there so many sacks?" you may ask.  Again, my pupil, that's an easy one.

The Saints blitzed everybody in their stadium on every single play.  Obviously this means that there would be opportunities for plays like screens, or maybe a hot route open.  After all, that's how Heinz Ward gets most of his receptions.  The answer is no, however,  For some reason Ass Arians, as seen above, continually tried to go deep.  Play after play after play after play...after play after play.  No doubt against a 100,00 person rush Roethlisberger found PLENTY of time to hold on to the ball and wait for a receiver to open up deep. Or not, I guess. 

I suppose the one thing that I hate about Arians the most is that he simply cannot adjust a game plan at half time.  What kills me is that sometimes he will scheme the opponent's defense perfectly, and everybody will say something like "See.  Don't blame Bruce Arians."  Although, the other fifty percent of the time he will do such a piss poor job in creating a game plan, see game plan against the Saints, and couple that with his extreme inability to adjust, leads to ridiculous showings that have people say something like "Bruce Arians is a football fritata."  

He better pull his head out of his ass and set up for the next game.  Seriously, who hired Bruce Arians...winner of this week's Gaper Award.

   Maybe you should spend less time wearing ridiculous hats and more time adjust a damn game plan.

Bruce Arians would probably be the greatest coach in Cleveland's history.  Sad.
  

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