Thursday, September 22, 2011

Bring on the Colts

Usually when the Steelers play the Colts I'll sit on the edge of my bar stool expecting a 2,000 yard pass from Manning to [insert receiver who just torched the dismal secondary] on every play.  This year?  Not so much.  The Indianapolis Colts without Peyton Manning is about as frightening as this:

  (This pussy has a healthier neck than Peyton Manning)

So, I'll definitely be getting what I like to call "Steelers Trashed" this Sunday afternoon in preparation for the prime time game.  So, before I begin my weekend preparations, I thought I'd take the time to outline what I believe the Stillers need to do to win this weekend.

1.  Run the ball.
This is paramount.  111 yards after two games?  Even Mendenhall knows that that is not nearly good enough.  But it doesn't end with Mendenhall.  Maybe Tomlin should give Isaac Redman some more touches.  He's looked excellent in the first two games when spelling Mendenhall.  The Steelers need to control the clock to keep their old, and completely washed up defense (right Sapp?  Idiot.) fresh for the entire game.

2.  Protect Roethlisberger.
Obvious.  With a prima donna act last week that even that stupid fuck Terry Bradshaw would be proud of, Ben reminded the "offensive" line that they played offensively in the second half...and they did.  I understand it was difficult for Foster and Gilbert to adjust to starting roles that were not theirs to start the week, but this week is going to be more difficult.  Robert Mathis and Dwight "Schrute" Freeney are perennial pro bowlers.  If I were Arians I would run more draw plays up the middle and more halfback screens because let's face it, the "offensive" line is not going to stop those two from hitting Ben.

3.  Cover one receiver and one tightend.
That's it.  Stop Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark from running routes.  Pierre Garcon, Austin Collie, Anthony Gonzalez, etc., are really not that dangerous without Peyton Manning.  Wayne has 100 more receiving yards than anyone else on the team, and ranked second is Clark.  Bump and run coverage would be key, as Wayne is more of a downfield receiver, and that's how you stop tightends anyway.  Hit them.  I would like to see Ike Taylor use that club hand to bitchslap Wayne on the first play of the game.  Set the tone Taylor.

4.  Use Cam Heyward.
Ziggy Hood is starting in place of Beardzilla, so use Heyward to spell Smith as often as possible.  The Colts are terrible at running the ball, give the young guy some game time.  

5.  Get intimidating.
  Enough said.

I'm sure there are other things that they can do, but I don't want to sit here and type for 12 hours.  On a side note, I think Peyton Manning should win a Posthumous NFL MVP Award.  Even the Patriots did well without Tom Brady a couple of years ago thanks to Matt Cassel.  The Colts' showing in the past two weeks is the biggest indication that no player means as much to their team as Manning does to the Colts.  With all of the neck surgeries, he may not be back this season.  On the plus side, he just acquired an amazing doppelganger.

Even their wives cannot tell them apart.

-Cleveland Sucks-

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