Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Football Season is Finally Here!!

Finally, no more preseason games. No more listening to ESPN pundits break down the first four preseason games and use those performances as excuses to bash Pittsburgh. No more training camp news, or training camp heroes for that matter. The roster is set, and the games start Thursday. In celebration of the new season, I have decided to list ten things every Steelers fan should know entering the 2009-2010 regular season.

10. The Browns will continue to toss the salad of the NFL. No fanbase in the history of the NFL is as delusional as the Cleveland Browns'. I used to talk to some of these morons, and somehow the conversation was always drawn to the Browns dominance in the pre-Superbowl era. Alright, they dominated the league when there was one good quarterback and runningback, and they had them both. Now what? Cleveland will soon be the only franchise to enjoy the prestige of never being associated with the Superbowl. That would be either playing in it, or hosting it. If they win 6 games this year I'll change my opinion of Brady Quinn, and start believing he is straight.



9. The defense will not lose a step this year. Despite the humongous turnover on the defense...oh wait, one part-time starter, they will manage to somehow remain dominant. Hell, not counting Cincinnatti, Pittsburgh could start the scout team offense as their defense and still dominate the division.

8. The "offensive" line will be better this season. I say this partly out of hope and partly because I believe another year of continuity is just was the doctor ordered. Over the years I've come to completely trust in Kevin Colbert, and all the crazy shit he does...like not resigning Joey Porter but instead promoting James Harrison, saying goodbye to Chris Hope and hello to Ryan Clark, and bringing in Mewelde Moore (although I'm sure Tomlin had a big hand in that). I just wish Russ Grimm was still here. He would have whipped those "inglorious basterds" into shape by now. On the plus side, they couldn't get much worse this season.

7. Everyone will see what kind of toolbags work at ESPN this year. The Steelers are defending Superbowl champions with a great shot at repeating and what is the headline at ESPN? Whether or not Tom Brady will thrown 10 bazillion touchdowns this year. This is the NFL version of the Brady Bunch:



6. Cleveland still sucks.

5. Rashard Mendenhall will be a beast this year. If it wasn't for Ray Lewis twisting him around for a "Raven Ass-Raping" last year, Mendenhall would have had a breakout year. Well, RayRay's boy lust has only pushed back the timetable one year. Look for Mendenhall to supplant Parker as the starting back this season.

4. Sweed will also breakout this year. If the line is as poor as last year, the offense will be forced into a lot of third and longs. With two Superbowl MVP's as their starting wideouts, that leaves a gap for a third receiver to do some damage. Ask Nate Washington what it is like to ride the coattails of two great receivers and parlay that into a big payday. Don't even get me started with the shit he's saying now, just look it up later. Sweed would probably have supplanted him this year anyway. Limas will be everything to Pittsburgh that Burress was to the Giants, but without the overwhelming stupidity.

3. Timmons will destroy all that get's in his path. I mean, just took at what the hell he is doing the picture below. Do you know what those steel containers are filled with? All the hopes and dreams of envious linebackers in the NFL who don't play for the Steelers. They know they're pussies, and Timmons could kill them with his thoughts. Personally, I didn't like him as a first round pick last year, but as usual, Kevin Colbert told me to shut the hell up. You know what, Kevin was right again.



2. Ben Roethlisberger will make the Pro bowl. This isn't the usual drive for someone in Pittsburgh, because team success always comes first. However, Ben is going to have an immaculate season behind center this year. I'm calling for 30+ touchdowns.

1. Finally, the Steelers will repeat. With the fourth easiest schedule in the NFL, Pittsburgh will cruise to a division championship, and possibly end up hosting the Conference Championship again. What a year. Soon Steeler Nation will have to come up with some other catchy saying like one for the big toe or something, because the will be out of fingers. (And Cleveland will never win a championship.)

1 comment:

  1. iron city's marketing campaign is "knocking on seven' door"

    ReplyDelete