Quadzilla disgusted with himself, "There's no excuse"

"There is no excuse", that is what Jeff "Quadzilla" Reed was quoted as saying after the Steelers lost to the Chicago Bears on Sunday. But what was Jeff Reed talking about? Was he talking about the picture to the left...his common party outfit? Was he talking about that time he destroyed an entire Sheetz gas station because they were out of hand towels? Well Jeff, you can get away with all of this shit for two reasons. First, because they're all funny as hell. Second, you are clutch with the toe...until Sunday.

I don't have to tell anybody, but to meet the extremely high journalistic standards I hold this site to, I will report that Quadzilla was 0-2 on field goals longer than 24 inches on Sunday. This is what 'Zilla had to say after the complete bullshit loss,

"There's no excuse," said Quad, who insisted he did not slip on the soggy field. "I missed two kicks and basically what it was, I was trying too hard on both of them. That's what happens to a right-footed kicker -- you hook them. I'm just embarrassed because these guys fought their tail off to win the game. If there's one player who can single-handedly lose a game, I'll take credit for it." Zilla was going to be the recipient of the weekly McNulty Gaper award, but he manned up and showed that he's got them swinging downstairs with his post-game quotes. You could blame Sepulveda for shitty holds, but Dan kept the laces out. (Luckily, because Reed doesn't have too far to go to be a cross dressing psychotic.)

In good news, the Steelers running offense looked vastly improved from last week. That improvement has to do with the quality of the defense they were facing (An Urlacher-less Bears D doesn't quite equal Tennessee), but also to an improved "less-offensive" line. They provided quality holes for Parker (47 yards) and Mendenhall (39 yards), but the primary motivation of the offense was the passing game this week. Roethlisberger threw for 221 yards on 23 of 35 attempts, one passing touchdown, and ran another in for a score. Ben looked good, Holmes looked like dogshit.

That brings us to the much awaited and heralded Gaper of the Week Award. Congratulations Santonio Holmes, for dropping every damn ball that came your freaking way.

Holmes on learning he won this week's award.

When interviewed after the game Holmes said, "It wasn't stable enough to be playing on it, but we're professionals and we've got to adapt to situations, Once it got wet, the field got a little bad." Well Santonio, tell that to the Bear's WR Johnny Knox who was stellar for the duration of the game. Knox caught 7 passes for 70 yards and a touchdown. Holmes dropped a ball in the endzone, right around the time my friend dropped his fist into the waitress' face.

Alright, enough. Steelers lose 17-14, but at least it wasn't an embarrassing loss. Hell, we could be Cleveland. (I shutter at the thought.)