Sunday, October 18, 2009

Preview of Steelers v Browns

I've decided to change up the format for weekly posts. Due to the fact that I'm incredibly late on getting posts up, I'm now going to preview the upcoming game instead of recap. There are a few things to cover before that though.

Aaron Smith has been put on injured reserve and is now lost for the season. As a reactionary move the Steelers have signed Ra'Shon Harris to the team. You may remember him as a low round draft pick who didn't make the team this season. First round pick Ziggy Hood is sure to see an increase in playing time along with defensive ends Nick Eason and Travis Kirschke. Kirschke is not a bad backup as he's been splitting time with Smith for the last two seasons. Zig should look pretty good today...against the Bottomfeeders.



Yeah, he's back! Now it's time for the 4th best defense in the league to step it up a notch. The return of Troy will make up for the loss of Aaron Smith...I hope. Anyway, against the Cleveland Bottomfeeders the Steelers could start the roster for the Pittsburgh Passion. It would still be a blowout, those ladies are tough. Much tougher than doctor Brady Quinn, medicine woman.

Also back this week is Willie Parker. If the Steelers don't start Rashard Mendenhall regardless of Parker's return, I may blow up the Clemente bridge. Mendenhall has shown some serious skill the past two weeks, and to bench him now that he's going up against arguably the worst team in the history of ANY sport, well that's just silly. Parker seems to be the only one who doesn't see the writing on the wall. CONTRACT YEAR, Willie, CONTRACT YEAR.

After last weeks victory against the Lions, there was really only ONE person who deserved the Gaper Award. Hello Larry Foote.
Larry held a press conference to thank everybody for winning this award.

Foote was caught saying that he was going to make the Steelers "Sorry for what happened." Really Larry? Well, how did he do you might wonder? Six tackles. Ouch Larry, you were right, we are sorry. It really was just "the politics of the game" that sent you out of Pittsburgh. After all, there was Lawrence Timmons, a first round pick, sitting on the bench. Obviously the coaching staff was going to play him, whether or not he was better than you, Larry. How did Timmons fair against your team? Five tackles...and a sack. Oh, maybe he will be better than you. Bitch.

Now on to the grand finale. A preview of today's game against the bitchboys of the NFL. Last week we witnessed a solid victory against a substandard opponent. Do not expect that trend to change today. Cleveland is a pathetic 1-4, and only won last week because the Bills played possibly the worst game I've ever seen in my entire life. (Correction, I didn't actually watch the game. I would have rather ripped my eyes out with a spork.) Cleveland has two quarterbacks, both of whom are not worth a shit. They just traded away their star receiver to the Jets, probably for nothing more than a couple of Bon Jovi tickets. Needless to say I don't expect a hard fought victory today, but more a complete domination from start to finish. I can't wait.

Cleveland will lose, and lose big.

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